Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
