white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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