Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
