I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
