Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
