I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
false alarm. still invincible.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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