I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
