yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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