It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
