I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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