jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
