I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
