just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My cat gives me a boner
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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