Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
