My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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