tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
