things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize