YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
