Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is Oprah even human
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
