PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
