that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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