Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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