Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
