im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
