look no pants
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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