Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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