Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
