i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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