I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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