You work out of a Hotel?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
