we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
