I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
