Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
