Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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