So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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