I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
