I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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