Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
