Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
