i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone came in the potted fern
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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