fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
