just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
