I'm drive I can fine osifer
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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