remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
