Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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