giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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