Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
