Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
