Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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