I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
