I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
